Why Dawn French is a Kinder Bueno

06 Feb

When choosing your ultimate idol, you are faced with the same problem as selecting your favourite chocolate bar. For me, there are days when you just can’t beat a Kit Kat Chunky, and there are days when Dairy Milk is the only way to go. The same can be said when thinking about what person you chose your ultimate idol. There’s more than one person you want to be like and, just like finding the right chocolate bar for you, finding the perfect idol can take years of searching- believe me, I know.

Despite all my ‘fad’ days, when only a Twix will do, my favourite chocolate bar of all time has to be the Kinder Bueno. It has everything my kind of chocolate bar needs. It’s chocolatey, there’s a hint of crispiness, and then you get to that amazing hazelnut centre that’s like eating liquid Nutella. Perfection.

My Bueno of the people world would have to be the one and only Dawn French.  On the outside, she’s funny, witty, and inside she’s generally filled with loveliness. Above all, Like a Bueno, she’s beautiful. Whether she’s a big full Bueno, half a Bueno, or a single square of a Bueno, she’s just gorgeous. I absolutely adore this woman.

I think the best phrase she ever said was ” There are two types of women: the ones who like chocolate and complete bitches.” Now, while her words may have been a tad harsh, I am sorry all you chocolate haters, but you are insane. She’s comfortable with herself and her own opinions. She never seems to doubt that everything will work out and she always finds ways to be happy with what life has dealt her. You see this in her biography, Dear Fatty, which gives us all a little slice of her and trust me, it is delicious. Well worth a read (accompanied with a bar of galaxy of course).

How many people do you know who are completely comfortable in their own body? Personally, I don’t know anyone who can confidently stand up and say they love every bit of themselves. Even if Dawn French doesn’t love every single bit about her body, the past and present one, she has never been reported to have said anything negative about her image. She even claimed in an interview with Woman, released today, that she was very fond of her previous body and that she was never unhappy with herself. She’s my hero. Plus, she played Geraldine Granger in Vicar of Dibley (also a chocolate lover) which gives her extra brownie points because that is THE funniest show Britain ever produced.

I also love this woman for saying that she could not watch TV without chocolate. This should be made into law in my opinion. Send it through as a private bill as soon as possible under Dawn-French-Appreciation-Law. Yes please Mr. Prime Minister! There could be a whole range of these laws in honour of our idols. We could have an exercise-while-you-eat law and have a Bueno in each hand to use as weights. We could have a Bueno-appreciation day, and while we’re at it, a Dawn-French-appreciation day as well.

I have my Jennifer Anniston days, where I fall into the social convention trap and wish I was a tall, skinny fashionista. But this, to me, is like having a favourite chocolate bar similar to something like a Special K bar. It’s not really a chocolate bar, and after you’ve eaten it, you still want an actual chocolate bar. Jennifer Anniston is great. But it takes a lot of effort to look like her and to be honest, I’d rather keep my fuzzy edges along with my Bueno. No offence Jen.


Posted by on February 6, 2012 in food


2 responses to “Why Dawn French is a Kinder Bueno

  1. morels64

    February 7, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Again well written and very funny –

  2. moragboles

    April 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Thank you


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