When women are on the lookout for a man, the selection process is similar to that of sampling desserts – the look and the smell. If a cake looks irresistible and smells irresistible then it’s usually the favourite choice.
This does not mean that women who are on first dates with men walk straight up to the poor unsuspecting bloke and ram their noses into his armpit to see whether they are wearing deodorant. That would be extremely weird. But you get the general idea. Man hunting is like cake selection. You get a good idea of the future you and your cake will share based all upon that first whiff (in my case it’s chocolate praline or Paco Rabanne’s 1million – I’ll let you figure out which way round) and just like your first love, you never forget your first bite.
They say that with food, half the taste is in the smell and fellas, sorry to say it, but first impressions count when courting a lady. It’s got to look right and it has to taste right. So can someone please explain how on earth smelly cheese took off? There’s nothing like a bit of stilton every now and again after a slap up meal, but how did cheese that has a scent which resembles a shoe infested with dead flies and athletes foot ever take off in the first place? What crazy person agreed to sample something that emits such an offensive odour? If we make such important decisions like ‘what to have for dessert?’ and ‘will there be a second date?’ based on attractive smell, where did smelly cheese come from?
Obviously for people alive today, smelly cheese is popular because it’s been passed down and deemed ‘delicious’ by the person with a foot odour fetish who made it an icon way back when, a bit like Sean Connery being adored because he used to be James Bond, but men must have really smelled bad in those days (when cheese was first made, not when Seam Connery was James Bond), and cake obviously never existed or there would have been pastries and not cheese boards accompanying the nightly game of cards in the stately homes of days gone by.
Maybe my palette isn’t defined enough to appreciate the scent of a truly stinky cheese – I guess it takes more experience than I have. 20 something men can’t be as complex as stilton, they haven’t matured enough yet. They are more subtle, like a nice soft smoked cheese. Now I could really go for some of that – not offensive on my nostrils at all. Maybe in 10 years I’ll be ready for something with a more intense flavour, but even then, I still think I’d prefer fudge cake it just smells nicer…