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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Ladies who Lunch

When asked to explain why people love Sex And The City, there are the obvious responses – the humour, the friendship, the outrageous sex stories… if you haven’t seen it and you like to keep anything to do with the bedroom in the bedroom, don’t watch this show. If you like a bit of humour with your date, you need look no further for your evening companion.

Oh, if only it were that glamourous
What keeps me interested in SATC is the hope the show gives me (futile though it may be). After watching an episode or two in the evenings I pray for the same outcome advertised in Carrie Bradshaw’s New York to happen in my own life. I would wait forever to find the same thing they all managed to find by the end of series 6 – the secret, the key to happiness. I am of course talking about the fact that these lovely ladies can eat out that many times a week and still maintain amazing figures.

In every single episode, they eat out. There’s cupcakes, pretzels, and more drinks than a Scottish distillery. How do they stay so slim? Every attempt Carrie Bradshaw has in the workout world results in her ridiculing it. Yes, she’s a fictional character, and yes the hope restored in me because they maintain their wonderful figures is stupid, because in real life, they probably live in the gym and renounce all things carby or calorific, but it’s still false advertising, or something to that effect which means weight gain would not be my fault.

Carrie got the lucky straw, she can write, she can dine, she can buy shoes which cost more than my entire wardrobe put together (including the actual wardrobe) and she’s never had to go up a dress size.

My idea of a lunch out is a sophisticated little side street restaurant with a girlfriend and a nice catch-up conversation over our salmon and country vegetables. In reality, it’s more like a Starbucks, or at the very most, a low fat subway, but then it’s an 8k cycle ride and a 3k run/ brisk walk just to burn off the bread. Even salads are bad in the non-fictional restaurants because they come covered in dressings. It puts a bit of a dampener on the ‘lunching ladies’ montage when you know that you can’t really be a ‘lunching lady’ without expanding the waistband and the overdraft for that matter. It’s a shame, I could have been the UK’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw but I just don’t have the genes to be with the ladies who lunch.

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2012 in entertainment, food

 

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Puzzled

I am a woman who works on whims. Having several different hobbies and focusing on one for a few weeks and then changing to another keeps things interesting. Flavour of the month at the minute is jigsaws. Note my fabulous work below…


It was a pain in the bum if I’m completely honest. A good quarter of the thing is black, so when we got to the end, it was a matter of trying to match up the shape of the jigsaw pieces to the gap to make them fit. And to top it all off the pieces are all ridiculously similar, so we got half of them in the wrong place at first. The last little bit was the part that took the longest. It got me thinking about weight watchers.
‘She’s lost her marbles’ you say. Not true. When you reach your target weight it’s a great feeling, but then you have to stay there and that my friends is harder than it looks. When I talk to people about going to weight watchers the first response is ‘why are you going there? You don’t need to do that…’ People don’t realise that it’s got to become a way of life or you end up right back at that number you promised yourself you would never see again. Putting those last little pieces into place can take forever, but they are the most important steps – they complete the picture.
What happens when you complete the jigsaw? You look at it for a while, and it’s very pretty and you feel proud because you finished the thing, but then what? You take it to pieces and put it back in the box until the next jigsaw whim. If you take the puzzle to pieces you have to start all over again – a daunting task for most people, especially with a puzzle so big. The thought puts you off, so you leave it and leave it until you find you can’t even be bothered any more.
There is a little solution for jigsaws. When you disassemble it, keep the edge pieces in a separate bag, so that when you go back to it, you know you have that boost to get you started. There’s no point in making things more complicated for yourself is there?

My analogy isn’t foolproof. Taking your hard work to pieces where a diet is concerned is not a good idea, but keeping the foundations so you know they are always there is essential. The last few pieces of the puzzle are hard. But it’s worth it to see that final result. It’s the kind of jigsaw that you spray with glue and frame.

It feels the kind of jigsaw that you’ll be doing forever. It’s always there, you’re always adding pieces. Sometimes the pieces get put in the wrong place, and sometimes you feel like giving up and putting it back on the shelf. If you are never going to fully finish it and be done, then is it really worth all the hassle? Sometimes the answer is no, the result is not worth the effort you have put in. You’re trying your best and working hard, but you’re only fitting one or two pieces out of it. These days CANNOT defeat you. The good days will come – promise!

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2012 in diet, food

 

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Recipe for Success

choices choices choices

When browsing the supermarket shelves one is faced with the age old problem of too much choice. So many ingredients, so many combinations. When you are only shopping for one meal the task of choosing one can become too overwhelming, and there are days when you simply give in and reach for the takeout menu. This is exactly what it is like when you spend your time writing.

 
It always starts the same. There’s a base ingredient – let’s say chicken. What to do with it? Well, you could try a nice tomato and chorizo sauce, or perhaps marinate the chicken in a lemon and chilli sauce to serve with salad and warm bread. When you reach the warm bread stage you begin to think about braising steak, and how lovely it would be to have a homemade stew served with the same warm bread you picked out to go with your chicken. By the time you get to the end of your thought train you’re at the completely wrong station and you have to start again.

 
I have spent the last fortnight turning ideas over in my head and I could never quite settle on a decent recipe for a post. It has very much been a ‘takeout fortnight.’ I have nothing to show for the feeble efforts at generating something a reader could sink their teeth into but a food baby (the bulge you get when you eat too much. Mine’s called Fred), a headache and an empty word document. No wonder Gordon Ramsay swears so much – it’s frustrating! All the words are there, all the possible mixtures are floating around in your brain, but they are swimming too fast for me to catch them.

 
When this dilemma occurs in the kitchen my hands take over. The result is never Michelin Star standard, but it’s edible and there are never any complaints – possibly through fear more than taste, but I don’t think I’m that scary… This doesn’t happen with words. When my hands fight my brain I tend to wind up writing stupid rhymes or playing spider solitaire until the charge on my laptop dies. Why is writing not as easy as cooking? There’s a failsafe when you are cooking. If it all goes wrong there’s always a backup to keep you fed and satisfied. In my house it’s called the Dragon Inn (4 dishes for a tenner thank you very much) but there is not takeout menu that delivers well written posts to your doorstep.

 
I think it’s Fred (food baby) that is the key here. I know Fred must be fed, and so I make an effort to keep him happy. When he is hungry, he growls and it is very embarrassing in public. I need a word baby to make me as motivated with blogging. I could call him William. William the word baby…I like it. And you know, ll of a sudden I feel full of inspiration.

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2012 in food

 

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