Monthly Archives: July 2012

If there’s no chocolate in heaven I’m not going

Taken from

I have been thinking about chocolate. Those of you who know me will know that this is not an uncommon occurance. Chocolate is one of the basic fundamentals in my life – one of the things I could not live without. It is an attachment so strong that I would go so far as saying that a chocolate bar would be one of the five things I would grab when fleeing a burning building. I would sacrifice my phone for it.

I have been trying to find the best way to rationalise my relationship with chocolate – why I love it so much, why my attachment is becoming stronger, and I think I may have finally cracked it. Chocolate is good for you – good for the soul.

Before you all disregard this idea hear me out… First of all, it’s made from BEANS. Last time I checked, that was a vegetable (I don’t care that cocoa beans aren’t really vegetables, I hear beans, I think veg…) Secondly, I am becoming more dependent on chocolate as I get older. I am no longer a child. I must face up to this (Boyf when you read this, please refrain from doing your smug dance – I had to deal with it at some point, but it doesn’t make you right) and if owning up to becoming an adult means I can justifiably drown in chocolate then all the better. It is often said that you become wiser with age, and as I am becoming more dependent on the stuff, doesn’t that mean that on some level, my subconscious knows that chocolate is good for me? I’d like to think so. I have to believe it is true. There has to be some perks to getting older. I’m not saying I’m old by any means. I have a fruitful and long life ahead of me I am sure, just like I am sure that I’m supposed to be enjoying chocolate during that life. It’s fate.

Chocolate is the diamond of the confectionery world. It may not last forever, but the love that remains with the wrapper does. It’s the perfect partner, it has restored my faith in love. There’s no fighting, no nagging, no mess to clean up. It doesn’t leave the toilet seat up (sorry guys), it doesn’t order you to put the toilet seat down, it doesn’t leave piles of dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor… It’s just pure perfection. The Cadbury Christ. No matter how rubbish the day has been, it always gets better when you realise you can curl up with chocolate at the end of it.

I’d love to know if you can get earthly delights in heaven. Imagine if you couldn’t. No chocolate in heaven… Now that’s a scary thought. There has to be chocolate in the afterlife. One life is not enough time to have consumed enough chocolate. More people would revert to faith if we know that the chocolate will be sweeter on the other side. For thine is the praline, the milk and the Belgian, for now and ever more, Amen.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 20, 2012 in diet, food


Tags: ,

The celebratory Subway, and why I love my mum

Yesterday I joined 5000 women in Sheffield and ran 5 kilometres to raise money for Cancer Research UK. I beat my previous time of 43 minutes and finished the run with my mum in 33 minutes. This paragraph has to be dedicated to my wonderful mum because she stayed with me throughout the race even though she is a half marathon runner (crazy fitness freak that she is) and I kept slowing her down because of my gammy knee. Even so, she never left my side. I am proud to be her daughter. I think about all the women there yesterday who were running for their mothers instead of with them I know that it is a race worth running for them. For daughters, sisters, grandmas, grandpas, dads, brothers, for everyone. For mums.

This is a video of the photos taken for The Star website. Me, my mum and friend Sarah appear 3.52 minutes in.

We raised more than £400 between the three of us and it was so great to have the support of our loved ones. Boyf and my step dad came along to cheer us on and my dad who lives in Flimby, Cumbria, sent messages of support and love even though he couldn’t be there in person. It wasn’t just the messages from the people I know that urged me on, it was the messages on the ‘racing for’ cards of each and every woman who ran yesterday. Messages of thanks, hope and sadly, goodbye. A family friend recently lost her battle with cancer so this year I didn’t just run for my grandma, who I always dedicate the race to, but also for Pat Williams.

Me, Sarah and Mum – we may be running, but we still know how to pose!

As me and mum crossed the line, I became really emotional (but I couldn’t cry because I couldn’t breath). It was so amazing to see 5000 women all come together to celebrate, remember and fight for the people who lost, are battling and have beaten, cancer all across the country.

We all got our medals and celebrated our running times. Then we headed for that victory Subway. Oh, the Subway… beef on whole grain and toasted with peppers, pickles, lettuce, cucumber and BBQ sauce – it was worth the pain. In the end, I didn’t have my cookie. No point in spoiling all that hard work now, was there!

We did it!

Looking at it all now, I feel very small but significant. I was one in a sea of pink clad women yesterday, but I was there, I did that. I was there with my mum and she supported me all the way, just like she had done my whole life. She didn’t care about bettering her time, she cared about running with me. She helped me, she carried me, (not physically of course, I mean, she’s strong, but she’s not Mrs. Muscle…) she pushed me like will always do. I don’t want to race without her because I don’t think I could do it without her being there.

I hope I never have to run that race for my mum and I commend the women that did. If you are one of the women who had to do that, you are amazing. If you are one of the 6 million women who have taken part in Race for Life, your strength is what will beat cancer. Your determination will be remembered by every survivor you helped to save, and the loved ones you had to say goodbye to will never be forgotten. Just think, what we all did, what we all helped to raise, it might have just saved someone’s mum.


Posted by on July 16, 2012 in food, running


Tags: , , , ,

There are no calories in love…

Ah, the summer holidays. For a lowly student such as myself, the summer lasts for around 3 months, and there’s only so much rain-bathing a girl can take (rain-bathing being the new sunbathing for the residents of the UK) before boredom sets in. My problem is, when I am at a loss for something to do, I get complacent and fidgety. I need excitement and adventure. I immediately head to the kitchen to make stuff that I know I will regret eating the morning after. Like these wonderful cupcakes – just a little something I whipped up to make my zumba sessions feel worthwhile…

This sometimes dangerous hobby has a number of side effects. The first is that my sewing kit gets all excited, because I have to break it out to re-attach my buttons to my jeans. The second is that my knee complains at me for making it run on the treadmill for half an hour to burn off the guilt, the guilt of threatening my hips with yummy things that it can’t afford, and the guilt of turning my back on brownies to make this temptress of a treat. And the last is the reason I deal with all the other emotional baggage that comes with my new found crush. It is the warm, happy, comfy feeling that starts on the taste buds and spreads all the way down the very end of my tippy toes as I enjoy these freshly baked goodies. It’s a glorious feeling really. When this feeling envelopes me, I know that it is all I need to survive. Whatever ailments come my way, I know that I will be OK because I have this feeling in me. They write about it in books and you see it in films like Pretty Woman and 50 First Dates. This feeling is of course, love.

That’s right; I am in love with cupcakes. I’m not just in love with cupcakes – to say that makes me feel like I’m cheating on brownies. No, I couldn’t do that (even though we all know I am). I’m sorry dearest darling brownies… It was just a phase… I will NEVER go behind your back again… But I think maybe we should have a more ‘open’ relationship from now on… You can see other people too… I promise I will try very hard not to be jealous… You’re worth more than a cupboard cupcake lover like me…

This is the mental conversation I had with an entire aisle of brownies at the supermarket the other day when they caught my daydreaming about soft yummy cupcakes on their turf. Oh, the shame…
I do have a reason though. I’m not just one of these women who won’t commit to a loving, giving relationship with their confectionary. The truth is I cannot bake brownies very well. The only recipe I have contains a typing error in the quantities, and no matter how long I bake them for, the middle wont set, so you have to eat them out of the tin with a spoon. It’s delicious, but you can’t serve them when if the Queen comes to visit. Can you imagine? Presenting the Queen with a gooey tray and a spoon? No, I don’t think so…
So I make cupcakes instead. And this is how my affair started. This is why I cheated on my beloved brownies, and why I will do it again. It’s your fault brownies! Yours! You and your silly miss-typed recipes!!! I take a deep breath and unclench my fists… Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you…

I cannot stay away

Standing in that aisle, with all those beautiful brownies tapping their feet at me with their hands on their hips, I vowed to never buy cupcakes from a shop (at least not again). That would be like going out and paying for something you shouldn’t be doing in the first place… I will never stoop so low, brownies, I could never hurt you like that… And because my beloved has always put my craving first, they forgive me, and I promised to visit them every once in a while. After all, there are no calories in love.


Posted by on July 13, 2012 in diet, food


Tags: , , , ,