It’s been a long time since I wrote you a list
And this one’s not too long, I am asking just this…
An inch off the arms, two off the waist,
And could you please do this without compromising taste.
I can’t give up bread or sacrifice cheese,
But I’d love to slip into that outfit with ease.
I’m dreaming of dresses, tight fitted and fine
But it’s not worth the loss of the chocolate praline.
I could do it the hard way and keep my wish quiet,
But Christmas is no time to be on a diet!
So could you please fix it? I won’t let it slip
That you’re the real reason I’ve got smoother hips.
I want to look tasteful in that little black dress,
But I cannot achieve it through living off cress.
I’d be ruining Christmas by avoiding the food,
I’d be dampening the spirit and souring the mood.
So you see, it’s quite selfless, it’s not all about weight,
I’m rescuing Christmas, and not just my gait.